Well, *that* was a brilliant idea.

I live in Central Florida.

It's July.

It's HOT. H-o-t. Blazing desert sun hot. Fiery furnaces of hell hot.

So... I, in all my brilliance, decided to drag Kid One and Kid Two out today. Uh, huh.

They were driving me just shy of fruit loops crazy this morning. We hadn't left the house since Tuesday afternoon, so I'll give them a break. I thought we'd go out for the morning.

Off we went, over to the Museum of Science and Industry, a wonderful facility that, apparently, has shoddy air conditioning. We showed up... along with 35 bus fulls of screaming brats*cough*, I mean smiling, charming darlings.

Go to membership desk, as I wanted to get a year's pass, and discovered that 'today only', member passes are on sale, 50% off. Sweet! Excellent! That's delightful. Hand the lady the charge card, and she asks me if I want to take the kids to see an IMAX movie while we're there. The choice today was some fish-under-sea thing, notably, not Nemo, but nonetheless something seabound, and I thought the kids would enjoy it. $15. Ok, fine, here have cash.

As she's printing my ticket, I hear this on the walkie-talkie on the desk. "Attention Box Office: IMAX camera malfunctioning."

She hands me my ticket, smiles, "Thank you Mrs. H, have a great show!" Then turned to confirm that the camera was, indeed, down.

Sigh... ok, so she *should not* have sold me those tickets. But, we'll go with it... hopefully, they'll get it repaired before our movie time, an hour from then.

Off to the bathroom we go. I'm hauling a 5-year old and a 4-next-week-year-old along with me... Gotta remember that bladders are approximately the size of nickels. Go into the bathroom, and we could have sliced the humidity in there with a butterknife. It was awful. About 90 degrees, I swear. I should have known... Should have turned around and came home.

Up we go to the third floor... It was HOT. Ick. Ok, fine.

Mess around, only to find that half the third floor is devoted to the gestational processes of the standard human fetus. Again, Kid One is 5, Kid Two is 4. I *really* don't want to have the BirdsNBees conversation with them in the middle of MOSI. Really don't. It would take hours, and Kid One would go to kindergarten and discuss the finer points of reproduction with his teacher. I am all for Parent-Teacher conferences, but not for that reason.

Back downstairs to the 2nd floor. Earthquake show... which Kid One hated, and Kid Two thought was hysterical. Sigh... She's demented, what can I say? Alright, it's time to go see our movie.

We wander over to the IMAX theatre. Still camera malfunction. Dammit. "We're aiming for the 1:25 show."

...o...k. So we sit. And we wait. And, because it's official that their air conditioner is less than stellar, we *sweat.*

1:30 ticks by... still no movie. I look over, and Kid One is turning that shade of green he gets when he's too hot. Cause he's sensitive to heat, too, to top things off. OK, fine. Let's go.

Fortunately they refunded my money, or there would have been a throw-down. Or something equally Internet-Tough-Guy. So, we schlep our way across the parking lot, sweating like pigs in the sun, because I, in all my genius, parked in an easier to get into parking space, halfway across the face of the planet.

And it's HOT. Shoe-soles-melting-to-the-pavement HOT.

Home, James. Off we went. I had to poke kidlets to keep them awake in the truck... "NO, YOU ARE NOT NAPPING!"

And then we made it home. And now, it's 5:30 in the evening, and they're both still sleeping. I have no inclination to go wake them, either, and I know I'm gonna regret it, when it's 10 this evening and they're still bouncing off the walls. But, it's quiet, and since I keep the house at a crisp 72 degrees, I'm not hot (well, except my toes, but they have their own circulatory system, I think)...

What on earth possesses me to do these sorts of hairbrained things?!

I don't know, but it's scheduled us to go to the zoo next Wednesday. And it's gonna be HOT.

Pass me the water bottle.